so where am i?
moving in and out of consciousness, confusion, reality, gone, there, here
who am i again?
why can't you see the whites of my eyes?
i never do.
it's me, the real, the fake, the fuckup
why can't i show you?
because i'm afraid that you'll reject me?
i know you will.
you already have.
what is it that intrigues you about me? the fact that i'm not plastic?
i'm not a broken doll laying on the floor,
just give me a second to recover.
i'm still being pulled in four different directions by the same force, east, west, north, south, but all i want to do is go up
i can't explain myself to you.
i don't want to
look deep into my eyes.
touch my heart with your fingers....take it away....i don't need it anymore..
i need to feel again.
what was that word?
like i'll ever taste that.
it's too much....i'm not even close
god....i want it so bad.
but i'm not willing to give myself up
i'm gouging my eyes out....
why can't i just be happy